Gooberzilla's Greatest Blog EVER!

FEAR THE GOOBERZILLA! Home of the Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast. And the Worst Movie EVER! Podcast, too. A blog devoted to reviewing only the finest films ever made. And robots. Lots of robots. Robot alligators from Jupiter, bent on enslaving the human race and forcing us to service their fiendish, cybernetic dentures, since they themselves have lost this wondrous technology... Also, various and sundry shenanigans.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

God Bless Uwe Boll

It doesn't take a rocket-scientist to realize that BloodRayne is the Worst Movie EVER. And yet, I think the entire world should watch it. Everyone must know my pain.

On a side note, if it sounds like my voice is being strained through the guts of a cybernetic monkey, that's because I had one of the quality settings incorrect when I recorded this. I apologize in advance.

2 Minutes, 57 Seconds In:

Kristanna Loken. She's a cutie.

3 Minutes, 18 Seconds In:

Sir Ben Kingsley in another outrageous wig.
This is the only expression he uses in the entire film.

5 Minutes, 2 Seconds In:

Michael Madsen does not know how to swing a sword.

5 Minutes, 22 Seconds In:

Damostir, Kagan's chief thrall. I dig his punk-rock haircut.

9 Minutes, 41 Seconds In:


For all those that are not yet convinced
that this movie was made under the influence of intoxicating substances:

Purple haze / up in my brain!


This photo makes me think naughty things.


At 12:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh man... Bloodrayne is so bad. I think it gave me brain cancer...

Uwe Boll is pure evil and his "movies" should be banned under the rules of the Geneva Convention.

At 3:10 AM, Blogger Tom said...

No, God bless you guys, for watching this crap, so I don't have to

At 10:16 AM, Blogger Eeeper said...

Great review guys, terrible film.

Sweet merciful Jesus I thank my lucky stars that Kojima turned Uwe Boll down to make Metal Gear Solid the Movie

At 12:43 PM, Blogger Gooberzilla said...

Actually, I'd love to see Uwe Boll adapt Metal Gear Solid into a movie. I've always wanted to see a gay, Native American Solid Snake dual-wielding enchanted Hellfire pistols from the back of a rocket-powered unicorn.

At 10:36 PM, Blogger George Mori said...

Ah, paul, you're thinking of his movie adaptation of Maniac Mansion. Still this movie is pure cinematic pain, and yet, I love it. I mean, it's like that kid from Special Ed, who tries so hard, but god bless his special soul, he just can't perform. But you feel for him all the same.

I think I'm going to hell for that.

In other news Bloodrayne was nominated for 6 Razzies, including Worst Film of the Year, amazingly Basic Instinct 2 and Little Man got more nominations.


Post a Comment

<< Home