Gooberzilla's Greatest Blog EVER!

FEAR THE GOOBERZILLA! Home of the Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast. And the Worst Movie EVER! Podcast, too. A blog devoted to reviewing only the finest films ever made. And robots. Lots of robots. Robot alligators from Jupiter, bent on enslaving the human race and forcing us to service their fiendish, cybernetic dentures, since they themselves have lost this wondrous technology... Also, various and sundry shenanigans.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Gee Willickers, Snoop Dogg!

Master of the Flying Guillotine is the Greatest Movie EVER. If you don't believe me, just ask Snoop Dogg.

3 Minutes, 43 Seconds In:

Jimmy Wang Yu.
If you see him make this expression, chances are you've got on his bad side.

6 Minutes, 37 Seconds In:

The Master of the Flying Guillotine, in his ultra-subtle disguise as a Nazi monk.

9 Minutes, 12 Seconds In:

The Muy Thai Master. Tony Jaa he is not.

13 Minutes, 32 Seconds In:

The Yoga Master, and his pet owl, Hootie.

19 Minutes, 22 Seconds In:

"Duuuuuh? Bamboo dull axe?"


Snoop Dogg - much like the Almighty Gooberzilla - has impeccable taste in film.

Thursday, January 25, 2007


Despite featuring Halle Berry in skin-tight leather, Catwoman is the Worst Movie EVER.

7 Minutes, 43 Seconds In:

What the Internet is actually used for...

10 Minutes, 35 Seconds In:

Benjamin Bratt. He's handsome, but he's no Mark Dacascos.

11 Minutes, 12 Seconds In:

Sharon Stone plays a washed-up, alcoholic model whose beauty is fading and whose glory days are long since past.
I wonder if you'd call this method-acting?

The many faces of Halle Berry:


Slimey, but still cute.


On ur rooftops, stealin' ur laundryz.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

God Bless Uwe Boll

It doesn't take a rocket-scientist to realize that BloodRayne is the Worst Movie EVER. And yet, I think the entire world should watch it. Everyone must know my pain.

On a side note, if it sounds like my voice is being strained through the guts of a cybernetic monkey, that's because I had one of the quality settings incorrect when I recorded this. I apologize in advance.

2 Minutes, 57 Seconds In:

Kristanna Loken. She's a cutie.

3 Minutes, 18 Seconds In:

Sir Ben Kingsley in another outrageous wig.
This is the only expression he uses in the entire film.

5 Minutes, 2 Seconds In:

Michael Madsen does not know how to swing a sword.

5 Minutes, 22 Seconds In:

Damostir, Kagan's chief thrall. I dig his punk-rock haircut.

9 Minutes, 41 Seconds In:


For all those that are not yet convinced
that this movie was made under the influence of intoxicating substances:

Purple haze / up in my brain!


This photo makes me think naughty things.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

More Dino Propaganda - Dino Catering!

Despite its mad, l33t catering skillz, A Sound of Thunder is the Worst Movie EVER.

2 Minutes, 5 Seconds In:

Sir Ben Kingsley in a truly horrendous wig. Note also the champagne fountain.

9 Minutes, 0 Seconds In:


10 Minutes, 45 Seconds In:

A city-scape scene in A Sound of Thunder. Note how obviously blue-screened the background is...

12 Minutes, 24 Seconds In:

It's a bad sign when your Allosaurus Ice Sculpture looks better than your Allosaurus. Also, caterers get no love.

Next time, assuming no cataclysmic space-time catastrophes interfere and we actually get the bloody show recorded, we hope to take a stab at this:

Stab. Bloody. Get it?

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Dino Propaganda - Koopas Ridin' Dirty

Well, it doesn't really involve time travel, but it does have alternate dimensions. And that's why Super Mario Brothers is the Greatest Movie EVER.

9 Minutes, 29 Seconds In:

Dennis Hopper as Koopa. That's his real tongue.

10 Minutes, 26 Seconds In:

That's not big hair?

10 Minutes, 39 Seconds In:

Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo as the Mario Brothers. Chicks dig the `stache.

11 Minutes, 43 Seconds In:


13 Minutes, 48 Seconds In:
It becomes clear that the Almighty Gooberzilla does not know the lingo.

19 Minutes, 50 Seconds In:

Chimps are the epitome of hilarity.